New Year, New You.....Managing Expectations!

I have been thinking a lot lately about expectations and how often we set ourselves up for disappointment and I thought it was important enough to talk about. I have had several clients in the past couple of weeks that have been really hard on themselves and it got me thinking that we need to okay with giving ourselves permission! Give yourself permission to rest, give yourself permission to cry, give yourself permission to fail and then to get back up again. I named this post New Year, New me because a lot of what I am seeing and hearing is people setting grand New Year's resolutions and then being disappointed in themselves for not following through. Most of the things I am hearing about are when someone has given themselves an unreal expectation. I am all for setting goals and even pushing ourselves beyond our comfort levels. (That's how we grow right?) But the most important part of setting goals is making sure they are realistic with our capability at any given time. I know there are times in my life when I can handle more than other times in my life. I have to know what would be reasonable to expect of myself in order to set an attainable goal. I have to give myself permission to pivot when needed and know that it is okay to have days where I survived and that is the best I could do. Give yourself permission to be in a space where growth is the biggest goal. Learn to look at challenges through a different lense. I have really had to work with myself on this one lately. I set a goal last year of owning my own practice and becoming my own boss. This has been a challenge to say the least, but the one thing I have been constantly reminding myself is that I am learning several ways to not do things. I can't look at each bump as a failure, I have to look at each time something goes wrong or different than I expected as an opportunity to grow. (Don't get me wrong, I have my days and have to rely on my support peeps to remind me) I have to tell myself that I am learning a lot of wrong ways to do things, but I keep trying and eventually learn the right way. Failure is only failure when you choose to not grow through it! Give yourself permission to try again and again without judging yourself. Give yourself permission to go back to the drawing board when you have new information or have thought of a better way of doing things. Give yourself permission to sit in the sadness/frustration for a minute and really self reflect on how it could be done different. Give yourself permission to say no to the things that you don't want to do. Give yourself permission to no longer feel responsible for things that are not yours to hold. Give yourself permission to explore boundaries and areas in your life that you want to make changes in. Give yourself permission to step into the new you that you want to be and give yourself the same GRACE that you would give your best friend if they were doing the same thing! Challenge your self talk.......if what you are telling yourself you wouldn't tell your best friend in the same situation use that as the guide to change your narrative!! Be nice to yourself in this season of change and challenges!!! YOU GOT THIS!!